Knowing that your partner doesn't love you back can be hard. There could be many reasons for that, including their insecurities.
Love is not a static feeling and it changes with age. We don't love the same way in our forties or fifties, the way we used to in our twenties. We learn to love differently but also realize that the feeling of love is also subject to change. Is love enough for a happy marriage? The simple answer is no, because as time passes and the rose-tinted glasses lift, we come face to face with the nitty-gritty of life.
Between chores and taking care of kids, sometimes the love fizzles out. People might stay in their committed relationships because they are happy and like their partners. Not all couples face this and there may be ways to get the passion back into the relationship as well. However, if you're wondering if your partner only likes you and doesn't love you, there may be signs for that.
At the same time, if your partner doesn't love you anymore, don't think that you are not deserving of it. "Don’t ever take it personally if someone you love doesn’t have those feelings for you," relationship coach and expert, Jenna Ponaman, CPC, tells Bustle. "I know, that sounds kind of crazy but when you think about it, but it really has nothing to do with you. When a person chooses not to move forward in love, they have their own insecurity holding them back."
Here are five signs that are going to reveal how your partner feels about you:
We hope that our partner shows up for the important parts of our life. Whether it's a crucial doctor's appointment or even going to shop together, these are moments to build a bond. However, if your partner neglects these moments and gives excuses instead, it might be because they are not present in the relationship. They might not be feeling the love and they may even be refusing to acknowledge this. After all, recognizing this problem might be the first step towards fixing it.
When someone loves us, they make sure to show us that. However, if they are only performing the role of a dedicated husband or boyfriend, a woman is likely to notice. After all, most of us have become good at recognizing half-hearted attempts on our partner's part over the years. If you find yourself wondering if your partner still loves you, it might be because they are not completely in love with you anymore. It's hard to accept this but relationships are hard work and we can't take any part of it for granted.
Remember the initial days of your relationship, when you were spontaneous and fun? If you wanted to do something together, you both would make it happen. However, over the years the effort at keeping things light and fun may have dwindled. If the two of you are not having any fun together, like going on dates, or watching a movie together, or even making a meal together, something might be missing in the relationship.
People in love want to make their partner feel special. They want to shower them with love, with big and small gestures, but if this is missing from your relationship it could mean that you have to have a serious talk. Communicating with each other about our expectations is crucial to the health of the relationship. If we want them to do something for us, we might have to ask them instead of waiting for them to understand our needs.
If your partner likes you but doesn't love you, they might still stay in the relationship because you are a good companion. You have probably spent years together and that camaraderie won't vanish like love. However, you might feel that something crucial is missing from the relationship. "You may start to feel as though your partner is like a [sibling] rather than a lover because you are not getting what you need from them in terms of emotion and intimacy," spiritual counselor, Davida Rappaport, tells Bustle. "They may be disconnected from you when you need them connected."