"Today, bro came to see the baby, and asked when I was going to let mom and dad see her since they wanted to reconnect," she said. "I said never and that I wasn't going to forgive them."
There are some follies that can be easily forgiven. But on the other hand, there are some wounds that don't heal even after years have passed. This is especially so, if it's your family, the very people you thought you could blindly trust, who do you wrong. For example, this woman was so hurt that she didn't have the heart to reconnect with her parents even 10 to 15 years after the incident that tore them apart.
She posted her story on Reddit and started off by saying, "I always had good grades in high school, was home on time, cleaned the house, etc. I never had problems with my parents before this. I went to med school, still living with parents when I was 20, I dated someone who was 23. Dad was against this because be does not believe in dating people far older than you (so like don't date far from your own age) and says I cannot date J."
Not only did her father try to dictate who she can fall in love with, but also gave her an ultimatum that left her choosing between love and family. "Argument breaks out, Dad says it's his house so either I agree or I move out. I say it's not fair as J has a job, goes to college, has future plans etc. Dad kicks me out. Mom agrees with his decision. Little bro was only 14 at the time," the woman wrote. "I moved with J, his family was supportive, helped me with my college (I went to another college due to financial reasons), finished my required years but still kept in touch with my lil bro."
The woman managed to move on from what happened with her parents, but she never healed from the wound that it left. "Years later, me and J (with the help of his parents) got a small house. (Like really small but I'm happy with it). I ended up giving birth to a sweet baby girl. I let my lil bro know that he could come see her when he was able to. He came a few times," she went on to say. "Today, bro came to see the baby, and asked when I was going to let mom and dad see her since they wanted to reconnect. I said never and that I wasn't going to forgive them."
Her brother tried to reason with her, saying that their parents were "just strict" and were trying to protect her. But she said, "Dad shouldn't have kicked me out overage."
"Bro is upset because he says Mom and Dad regret their decision and just want to reconnect and that I am dragging this entire situation," the woman went on to say. "I told him that if he thinks I'm 'dragging it out' then he can stay out of my life too. He's angry and says that I need to move on and that I shouldn't be withholding them from seeing THEIR grandchild. I say that THEY disowned me and so have no grandchild from a daughter that doesn't exist."
Although she wants to continue having a relationship with her brother, the woman doesn't want a relationship with her mother and father. She said, "It's not like I had a baby just to put it against them, but my lil bro thinks I'm going go die on a hill with them for something done several years ago and it's petty."
Comments on the post showed how people had varying opinions about the incident.
rmm035 wrote, "If your parents want to reconcile they can reach out themselves, rather than sending a messenger. They owe you a massive apology. You're not the one that's "dying on this hill," they're the ones that haven't made amends for their actions. They made a huge, life-altering mistake, and just because they regret it now doesn't mean they don't have to take responsibility for it."
Goldenmoons even pointed out, "23 isn't too far away from 20... I feel like your parents just used that excuse as a way to control you. It's manipulative and gross to give your grown daughter ultimatums over who she dates."
FoxesInSweaters shared her own experience and urged the woman to try meeting with her parents. "I dunno, I totally get where you're coming from but due to circumstances my family missed out on the baby stage with my only kid and it's something I regret even though back then I thought I was never going to speak to them again," FoxesInSweaters' comment said. "Maybe try meeting up with them without the baby to talk it out with them. I don't think you're obligated to but it might be something you'll regret not doing later so really consider it. And what it'll mean for your kids to never know their grandparents on your side."