"I love my sister to death and I would really like for her to be there when we get married," said the groom.
It is not unusual for the bride and groom to have arguments over the guest list at their wedding. However, the groom in this story had to fight with his fiancée to get a spot in the guest list for his own sister.
Sharing the incident on Reddit, the man wrote that he was marrying the love of his life but still could not agree on whether his sister with special needs should be allowed to come to their wedding. "My sister is 20 years old and severely mentally handicapped," the man wrote. "I won’t sugarcoat it: She screams and makes loud noises, she stims, and she’s very prone to meltdowns especially in loud/crowded situations... However I love my sister to death and I would really like for her to be there when we get married."
Although the man mentioned that his fiancée loves his sister, he also said that she was hellbent on not having here there while they exchanged wedding vows. The soon-to-be groom went on to say, "My sister will 100% be loud and distracting during the ceremony and reception, which isn’t her fault, but my fiancée does not want the added stress and does not think it would be fair to anyone to have my sister there. She also doesn’t want to deal with a potential meltdown and says that it would 'ruin our special day.' To be fair, it’s likely my sister will have a meltdown at some point, but they don’t last long (usually about 30 min). Personally I think she’s being very selfish."
The tension between the couple has grown so much that the man said, "My parents are also pissed at her for not inviting my sister. We have been arguing about this and have come close to calling it all off."
Hoping to get some advice, the man concluded his post by asking whether he was the one wrong in the situation. And after a flood of comments came in, it seemed like most people took neither the side of the bride and nor that of the groom. Most of them wondered whether it was right for the sister to be exposed to a situation where she would have such a "meltdown."
"It sounds like it would be stressful for your sister to be there as well," might-as-well said. "It doesn't sound like she, as a person, enjoys situations with crowds. Idk how to feel about this one."
KYC3PO wrote, "Maybe there's some way to compromise? Depending on the venue, maybe she could be there for a small amount of time and have someone dedicated to take her to a quiet place if she started seeming distressed. Or maybe she could be there for photos but not the service? Or even just be there in the room with you before the actual ceremony. What I'm getting at is that there may be ways to include her without stressing her or your fiancee."
Among those sharing personal experiences was AHSIA43 who commented saying, "As a mom of a child who is severely handicapped and appears to be similar in behavior to your sister, I love that you want to include your sister in your wedding. Hopefully you and your fiance can find a compromise that works for you both. Your sister is very lucky to have you and I can only hope my sons show such understanding and compassion with their sister."
happy_accident_bob, who said they have worked as a caretaker for a girl with special needs wrote, "The girl I worked with loved events! She loved being with her family, seeing other people, wearing nice clothes, music, cake, and eventually seeing pictures of ‘events’ she attended. Yes she would have meltdowns as well every now and then. But then we would just decide to take her out of the situation then and there. It’s not all or nothing..." While giving advice to the groom, the user said, "...first of all make sure it is at least somewhat enjoyable for her. But don’t just think about everything that could go wrong, think of the solutions! Breakdown? Have someone who can go for a walk with her. Have an ipod or smth. Some silent snacks. It’s your sister, you know her best."