They say you learn a lot through a marriage. That includes learning the 100000000 different ways to argue about where to have dinner.
What do you feel is the thing that stands out the most about marriage? Having someone to come back home to on good days and bad days? Is it fighting for the blanket for the rest of your life? Or is it forcing yourself to eat your partner's meatball spaghetti because you don't have the heart to tell them it tastes terrible?
You vow to be there for each other, through the good and the bad. You accept and love your partner for who they are, despite every annoying habit they come with. These tweets sum up all that and the other quirks about marriage that everybody goes through. And they're oh-so-relatable!
Me: Good morning.— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) April 9, 2019
Her: Good morning. Garbage day—
Me: I know it’s garbage day. Taking out the garbage is my job. I don’t need reminders every time it’s garbage day.
Her: —was yesterday.
Wife: I want you to rake the yard today.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 29, 2018
Me: Consider it done.
Wife: I thought you were going to rake?
Me: I thought you were going to consider it done?
*watching husband sleep*Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"*husband snores*Me: "I can't live like this."— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 28, 2016
How can I do this, but LOUDER?— Ohio mom of two (@OhioMomoftwo) April 23, 2019
- my husband, apparently, about EVERY ACTION EVER
I'm never more nervous than when I insist we're out of something and my wife goes to look for it herself.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 27, 2017
i married for love— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) February 7, 2018
but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored
Day 2,098 of marriage: Husband still doesn’t know where the Tupperware lives.— Mummy (@ThatMummyLife) March 2, 2019
me: Have you seen my keys?— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 8, 2019
wife: No. Did you check your pocket?
wife: Both of them?
me [mocking] "Both of them?”
me *finds keys* No
We put new shelves in the garage and have talked for 3 days about what a game changer they are. This is peak marriage.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 22, 2019
Instead of my husband asking me what I want to watch, he asks me what I want to fall asleep to & that pretty much sums up a marriage.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 27, 2019
Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means?— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) March 20, 2016
Me: We have to be quick!
*Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*
[50 years from now]— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 25, 2019
*visiting husband’s grave*
“I wanted to let you know that after all these years I’ve finally figured out where I want to go to eat.”
I’m going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant tonight and my husband texted me the menu so I can “plan all my questions for the waiter in advance.”— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) January 26, 2019
Me: *yells something— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 2, 2017
Wife: I can't hear you
Me: *whispers something under my breath
Wife: I heard that!!
64% of being a wife is reminding your husband he needs to eat that food in the fridge before it goes bad.— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 4, 2019
Husband: It’s been 2 days. We have to give her a name.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 25, 2019
Me: For the last time, we are not naming my forehead pimple.
My wife said she hides snacks from me so she can put them out when guests come over, in case you were wondering why I invited you here tonight.— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) February 10, 2019
*breaks toaster*— ReeseButCallMeV (@ReeseButCallMeV) January 21, 2016
"So. When did you break the toaster?!"
[showing baby to friends]— David Hughes (@david8hughes) October 21, 2016
"Aw, he looks like his dad!"
Wife [trying to hold back tears]: they say there's nothing they can do
Me: [looking at my wife]— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 29, 2019
Me: I’m just in awe of you.
Me: of how strong you are.
Wife: I’m not helping you move your LEGO Hogwarts castle.
Me: but no one can see it down in the basement.