Michelle Obama said young people give up easily because they think they are broken when challenges are thrown at them.
Michelle and Barack Obama are known to have one of the most beautiful relationships. Many look up to them and admire the respect and love they share for each other. Recently, the former first lady spilled some secrets on what it takes to sustain a long-term relationship.
Talking on a recent episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast, the inspiring leader did not shy away from opening up about the challenges she and Barack have faced as a couple. “There were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window. And I say that because it’s like, you’ve got to know the feelings will be intense. But that doesn’t mean you quit. And these periods can last a long time. They can last years," said Michelle as she discussed her relationship with talk-show host Conan O’Brien, according to People.
Further, the two talked of how the older generations' perspective managing relationships was way different from the current generation. They stated that the older generations tried to make their marriage work while today's youth are fast to give up.
“Young couples, they face these challenges and they’re ready to give up because they think they’re broken," said the 56-year-old. She added, "And I just want to say, look, if that breaks a marriage, then Barack and I have been broken off and on, throughout our marriage, but we have a very strong marriage. And if I had given up on it, if I had walked away from it, in those tough times, then I would’ve missed all the beauty that was there as well."
The mother also gave some tips on how to choose the right one for you. She compared it to “picking your basketball team.”
“We’d have better marriages. If you’re looking at a team, the people you want to win with, then number one, you want everybody on your team to be strong, right? You don’t want any weak links, you don’t want somebody that you can dominate," stated the author of Becoming. "Also, if you’re on a team, you’ve got to be able to do everything —especially in basketball, it’s like, you would never pick somebody that says, ‘I only dribble. I don’t shoot, I don’t defend, I just dribble,'" said the mother of two.
She also emphasized the importance of observing the person you are dating in a variety of situations before making them a part of your life forever. “There’s no magic way to make that happen except getting the basics of finding somebody, being honest about wanting to be with them, to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment, to date them, seeing where it goes, and then making it happen. You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship," said Michelle.
She also reflected on the importance of honesty in relationships. Posting a throwback picture of her and Barack on Instagram, she wrote, "Last week on The #MichelleObamaPodcast, Conan and I reflected on our marriages. This relationship can be one of the most foundational pieces of our identities—bringing us so much joy, meaning, and support every single day." She added, "But one thing is for sure: It also takes a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. That’s one thing I’ve learned."
Michaelle and the former president will celebrate their 28 years of togetherness in October. In 2018, Michaelle expressed her desire to open up about the realities of her relationship. She wanted others to understand that no relationship was perfect and spoke about going for couples' therapy.
She said, "Because we're role models, it's important for us to be honest and say, if you're in a marriage and there are times you want to leave, that’s normal — because I felt that way."