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The Reason You Stand Alone Is Because You Would Rather Be Honest Than Pretend To Be Someone You're Not

The Reason You Stand Alone Is Because You Would Rather Be Honest Than Pretend To Be Someone You're Not

People with high morals wouldn't be fake, force a laugh at an insensitive joke, or be anything but themselves just to have a few extra friends.

Being able to speak your mind at all times would need a special kind of strength where you're not afraid of keeping it real even if it means putting your relationship with the person on the line. Sometimes, you prefer taking the moral high ground because you have a strong sense of choosing the right thing to do rather than being the popular person in the group. And often, that can sometimes make you feel like you're lonely or that you have fewer friends than others.

Moral loneliness

A number of reasons can push one to the path of a lone wolf, and strong morals is one of them. When you feel like your ethics are on the line, you could feel like your morals are being violated, and not wanting to go down that path could make you step away from the relationship rather than go further down the path you don't want to take.

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"Where we feel most alone is, precisely, in the deepest part of our being, our moral soul, the place where we feel most strongly about the right and wrong of things and where what is most precious to us is cherished, guarded, and feels violated when it is attacked," wrote Ron Rolheiser. "Not often does anyone penetrate that dwelling. Why? Because where what is most precious lies is also where we are the most vulnerable to violation. We are, and rightly so, deeply cautious about whom we admit to the room wherein lives what is most precious."

When you have a strong hold over your morals, you are perfectly okay with isolating yourself from toxic relationships, which could mean that you would rather be honest to the person or honest to yourself rather than fake it through a relationship.

You're more comfortable being by yourself than wearing a mask just to fit in

When you are the kind of person who wouldn't pretend for anybody else, you might have fewer friends because of it. It was found that people who had a moral mindset were not the kind of people who would laugh at jokes that were violating their morals, as found by a study. This can sometimes turn people off because they might feel like you don't have a sense of humor, but in reality, you would rather be honest about not finding an indecent joke funny than force a laugh just to make people happy.

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It's possible that some people are petty and expect you to laugh at every joke they make, even the ones that hurt someone's sentiments. But you're not someone who encourages that; you hold your ground and let them know how they are being insensitive. Having integrity like this can set you apart, but you might lose a few friends along the way.

However...

While you have honesty and integrity, you might not be the most popular person in the room. But that could be what's special about you. You might have few friends, but they are extremely close friends.

“Loners are often misunderstood, in that they’re all thought to be anti-social. Some are and some are not,” said psychotherapist, Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed, according to Best Life. You could be the kind of person who maintains strong relationships with a few close friends, who appreciate your honesty rather than feel misunderstood or lost in a big group of "friends" that you can't be yourself with.

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Honesty may come with the price of not having tons of friends to brag about. But dishonesty, in the long run, could have a worse effect on you because you stop yourself from being open, vulnerable, and brave enough to say what's on your mind.

References:
https://ronrolheiser.com/moral-loneliness-3/#.XQOQxxYzbIU
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/bd9b/bc7e1a92d22a1f0b73347f00c1b206c2bd97.pdf
https://bestlifeonline.com/loner-signs/