The actress is unable to write the letters or record the videos as "it feels so final." "It feels like you’re signing off, and I’m not signing off," she said.
We imagine living well into our old age before finding solace in the beyond. We imagine that we will have years with our partner before we have to say farewell. However, not everyone is that lucky. Some people have to say goodbye to their life and loved ones earlier than others, and coming to terms with one's own death can be one of the hardest things people do.
Shannen Doherty, 49, is fighting for her life while she battles stage IV breast cancer. She was first diagnosed in 2015 and she underwent surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.
She went into remission two years later but the disease returned in 2019. However, the cancer cells have now made its way to her spine. In February 2019, she had invited her friends, including Sarah Michelle Gellar, and others to apprise them of her health, according to Elle.
The Beverly Hills 90210 actress revealed that she intends to write letters and record videos for her loved ones but has been unable to do it since the process feels "so final." Her prognosis includes hormone therapy and "a second targeted drug that is often effective at stabilizing metastatic disease."
"I haven’t sat down to write letters," she said. "That’s something I need to do. There are things I need to say to my mum. I want my husband [Kurt Iswarienko] to know what he’s meant to me," she added.
"But whenever it comes time for me to do it, it feels so final. It feels like you’re signing off, and I’m not signing off. I feel like I’m a very, very healthy human being. It’s hard to wrap up your affairs when you feel like you’re going to live another 10 or 15 years," she said.
The Charmed actress first revealed her diagnosis in February 2020. "It’s going to come out in a matter of days or a week that I’m stage four," she told Good Morning America. "So my cancer came back, and that’s why I’m here. I don’t think I’ve processed it. It’s a bitter pill to swallow in a lot of ways."
She had tried to keep the recent update about her health a little private since she went back to work on Beverly Hills 90210 series reboot. She made the announcement months after her friend and colleague Luke Perry died of a stroke. He had been her on-screen love interest on the show, according to Starts at 60.
Even when she was diagnosed with cancer again, her thoughts went to her mother and husband. "I definitely have days where I say why me. And then I go, well, why not me? Who else? Who else besides me deserves this? None of us do," she said. "But I would say that my first reaction is always concern about how -- how am I going to tell my mom, my husband."
After several months since she came out about her diagnosis, she continues to fight and spend time with her loved ones. She’s trying to "treasure all the small moments" in her life "that most people don’t really see or take for granted," she told Elle.
"The small things are magnified for me. We have this endless well within us, and it’s just about continuing to dig in that well for the strength to face adversity – and so that we can also see all the beauty," she added.
Her disease has helped her become even closer to her husband, Iswarienko. "Cancer solidified us. Kurt and I have a much deeper appreciation for each other now," she told People.
"It’s not that our marriage wasn’t good before. But we were definitely going through some growing pains. We would lock horns on things, and instead of resolving it, we wouldn’t speak for a couple of days," she said. However, this has changed entirely. Now, "we don’t let a night go by mad at each other," said Doherty. "The last time we had a big argument was pre-cancer."