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Heartbroken Teenager Reveals How Parents' Divorce Destroyed The Relationship The Child Had With Them

Heartbroken Teenager Reveals How Parents' Divorce Destroyed The Relationship The Child Had With Them

The teenager felt like an outsider and said, "My father and his wife would often schedule visits to the parks or bigger trips spesifically to the weeks my mother had me and my mother and her husband would leave me alone at home so they could go out with the baby."

A divorce could mean the end of a relationship that only caused pain to the spouses. But in some cases, the biggest victim at the end of the divorce is the child who is not given the right love and attention through the heartbreaking transition.

When this couple got divorced and went on to get remarried, they left their 16-year-old feeling like an outsider while they both focused on their own separate families.

"My father married his mistress who already had a son and now they have a baby daughter. My mom remarried my stepdad and they had my half sister," the teenager wrote on Reddit. "After all that I became a secondary character in their life and they looked forward to ship me off to the other home so they could pretend that I didn't exist and play happy family."

When the post was later edited to include how the youngster felt in the house, the post said, "You know when you are at a friend's house where their parents don't particularly like you and you feel tense all the time and you feel like you shouldn't be there? That was the feeling I constantly had at their houses. I know that my stepfather doesn't like me that much. My parents would both fight about who keeps me longer. But not in the sense 'I want to have her longer' but 'I took her last weekend! It's your turn'."

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The teenager was always left out of family plans and wrote, "My father and his wife would often schedule visits to the parks or bigger trips spesifically to the weeks my mother had me and my mother and her husband would leave me alone at home so they could go out with the baby. Every chance they got they would ship me of to grandma's or my aunts place with some excuse and then do family stuff. Also when you went trough the houses there were barley any pictures of me. They had big ass portaits of my siblings and them together but almost none of mine. [sic]"

Frustrated by how the parents' behavior changed, the teenager started sleeping over at other houses more often. And while at home, the interactions with the parents started to diminish, unless they wanted to give a lecture on the kid's "attitude problem".

"Both my parents took that as a rebellious phase and would fight with me all the time. I wasn't a bad kid or a trouble maker but soon I was labeled as the black sheep of the family," the teenager wrote. "...I was just so fed up that I packedy[sic] s**t and disappeared for a few days. I took a bus and went MIA for 4 days. Ofcourse the police was called and when I appeared again I hit another lecture. We got in a screaming match were they called me a disappointment and I told them I hated them. I called my aunt crying and she came to fetch me."

If feeling the need to leave the house was bad enough, what was worse was that the parents didn't try to convince the youngster to come back home. The Reddit user said the parents would appear when it was convenient and didn't seem to put in much effort in maintaining contact.

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But later, they started trying to mend the relationship with their child. "As far as I am concerned my aunt is my only parent. She encourages that I build up my relationship to my parents again but doesn't force me," the post went on to say. "Anyway yesterday my parents pulled me out of school and invited me to eat at our old favorite place. Mom had tears in her eyes and even dad seemed hurt. They tried apologizing for their behavior and pleaded with me to come back and I just said no and left."

Seemingly confused about what to do, the teenager said, "I still resent them for choosing a new life over me" and asked, "I don't want them in my life but would I be making the right choice?"

Among the many different comments, one written by TheMocking-Bird said, "You can't force forgiveness. And your[sic] obviously not an 'assh*l*' for resenting them for what they did. In time you may find it in your heart to forgive and reestablish contact, until then they have no right to expect forgiveness or anything of that sort."

Another comment by wotsname123 said, "You experienced a massive betrayal and now those betrayers just want you to forget about it. Apologies are all very well but unless it comes with changed behaviour then they are pretty worthless."

Several users on the platform took a moment to compliment the teenager's aunt as well and said, "Sounds like you have a great relationship with your Aunt. She's got your back. Maybe have a talk with her (if you haven't already) about what both of your expectations are, like if she's Ok with you living with her until the end of the school year or until after grad or [insert longer duration]. Make sure you do chores and help her out, respect is a 2-way street and you definitely don't want to take her for granted."

WannaPo suggested, "I strongly suggest seeing a therapist if that's a viable option for you. You've suffered emotional trauma from your parents and I think it would benefit you to explore that with a professional in a safe environment. Once you've had the chance to really explore those feelings then I think you will know for sure whether you ever want to have them be a part of your life again."

References:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/dcz74v/my_parents_chose_their_new_families_over_me_so_i/