The things that your partner says to you, good or bad, can give you quite a bit of insight into their personality.
Through their every word and action, you get to see more of your partner and their personality. Over the months or the years that you have been with them, you may have heard them say some common phrases over and over again. While you may not have thought much about them, they actually reflect the kind of person they are and how they are likely to treat you in the relationship. If you often hear your partner say these things, here's what it says about them.
Hearing your partner say this to you constantly could show that they are trying to dismiss what you have to say or invalidate what you're feeling. It could be a sign that your partner tends to focus only on their own personal feelings and not have the patience to listen to what you have to say. There might be some things that you are passionate about and there might be some things that your partner is passionate about. While you might take the effort to accept your partner's opinions, your partner might fail to do so and call you "too emotional" or "too sensitive" in the process.
If your partner feels the need to exert control over you, they might often say "You have to do this for me", almost like a demand or an order. In some cases, it's okay to say this, especially during emergencies, but if your partner is constantly making such demands and expecting you to do things, it could be a red flag. “I want to be clear on this: Adults do not tell other adults what to do,” counselor Hayden Lindsey told Business Insider. Lindsey also added, "If one partner is trying to control the other, it is not an environment where love and health can flourish."
When one of the things that your partner often says is this, it shows that they want to assure you that they support you and will always have your back. “This means that you are putting your partner’s needs first and that no matter what they tell you or what they need, you will step up and be present and supportive,” psychologist Samantha Rodman told HuffPost. It could show that your partner is the kind of person who will never leave you to deal with your problems alone and will always be there when you need them.
When your partner says things like "Well, I can't right now" even when they are not busy or "I'll get to it" but they never do, it could be a sign that your partner is the kind of person who might never hold up their end of the relationship. They might always expect you to do things, fulfill their needs, and constantly give and give while they give nothing in return. "If you use somebody, you don't really care about them, or their well-being, or their overall happiness in life," says therapist and author, Shannon Thoma, according to Independent. "It's a habitual pattern. It's almost like life is there to meet their needs and people are just commodities to get that done."
It could be anything, from the way you hum along with songs playing the radio or even the freckles around your nose. When your partner never hesitates to give you a compliment or let you know just why they love you, it shows how attentive they are to you, according to One Love Foundation. Their personality traits include being considerate enough to make you feel special or appreciate. And letting you know what they love about you could be their way of showing just how much they value you and your relationship with them.
When your partner often tells you this, the part that might be worrying is when they say "for you". It could be a harmful habit that you have been urging them to stop, and now they are trying to attach that bad habit to your value in their life. "While the fear of losing someone may prompt this promise, it will never work," said therapist, Karol Ward. "You can only stop these behaviors for yourself and not for someone else." This can especially be bad for the relationship when your partner is unable to quit the habit and suddenly the question of how much they really care about you comes up.
A partner who often says this is the kind of person who might be aware of how independent you are but still takes the effort to offer you help. Your partner knows that you both are a team and even if you might be able to manage, they love taking the load off you. “Sometimes a partner isn’t thinking about asking for help and when a partner offers, it can make a world of difference,” said psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez. “It shows compassion and that you really care and are thinking about your partner’s wellbeing.”
The rest of that sentence could be anything, such as "the kids/your family/the cat/your job/your hobby". And if your partner is constantly giving you ultimatums like this, it could be a sign that they are trying to exert control over you. Unless it's a situation that could potentially harm you, your partner shouldn't be trying to isolate you from people or from things that matter to you. They could have a manipulative personality where they put you in an unhealthy relationship that could harm you over time.